“Hey, nice to meet you.”
“Yeah, you too.”
“So, what do you do?”
Why do we always ask that? It seems like we define ourselves by what we do. And by “what we do” we mean our careers.
“I read. I take walks. I pet my cats.”
Those would all be really weird answers to that question. But why? How did we go about the friend-making ritual before adulthood?
All through college I defined myself by what I studied — “I’m a developmental psychologist. A musician. A dancer.” Then I moved here and got a “real” job. A job I never intended to have. I don’t hate it, but it doesn’t enter into who I think that I am. The problem with that is, I spend a great deal of my time doing it. And it acts as a lens through which people see me in that first “What do you do?” (”Who are you?”) moment. Are our jobs really who we are?
Aneel | 17-May-06 at 11:41 am | Permalink
At 2/3 (or more) of your time.. it defines 2/3 (or more) of your life which must necessarily have something to do with who you are. :-/
Jess | 17-May-06 at 1:15 pm | Permalink
Whenever I get asked this question I have so many different answers I could give. Depending on the person, I might mention one job, both jobs, or both jobs and the stuff on the side. If I want to seem more impressive I always say ‘library.’ It IS a weird feeling to define yourself that way.
R | 17-May-06 at 10:50 pm | Permalink
“We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful what we pretend to be.”
- Kurt Vonnegut, Mother Night
David | 18-May-06 at 2:34 am | Permalink
This came up recently for me, too. I think it’s not because it’s that important, but because it’s common ground. Everyone has *something* they do, whether it’s work or a job or something similar. It may not be the most defining thing in your life but you’re guaranteed to get an answer from just about everyone, so it’s an easy way to start a conversation.